I’m not Dead!

Have you ever seen the cartoons where the Big Bad Wolf walks into the bar and sexy Little Red Ridinghood struts out and starts singing “Oh Wolfie”? His eyes pop out of his head, his tongue unrolls, his heart pounds out of his chest and droll skates along his chin?

Last night I was hanging out with my best friend and were looking at pictures from our last Girl’s Week (in July) The pic of us eating fried pickles popped up and we both went Um Fried Pickles! Let’s go to Lees! (Lee’s is a chicken fast food place)

We load into my truck both thinking how delicious the pickles were going to be. We walk in and there is one customer at the counter, three older people in a booth and the employees.

I took one look at the guy in line and I SWEAR TO YOU I PULLED A BBW! I know I as drooling. Now I have seen some fine looking men before but this one? HOLY SHITE BATMAN! He was about 6’ 1”, his copper skin was nice and tanned, his black t-shirt fit across his well defined shoulder and chest, emphasizing each muscle.

His jeans were just snug enough to cup his perfectly shaped butt. Big, brown eyes you could get lost in forever,. His shoulder length black hair was pulled back into a pony tail—his hair looked like satin. I would NOT have any trouble at all seeing him in a pair of buckskin pants, holding a bow, while riding a paint pony.

I am NOT lying when I say he was the most gorgeous man I’ve EVER, EVER seen in my life.

I forced myself to stop drooling and my best friend and I were making jokes about driving six hours to have fried pickles any more. We can go here now. He was eavesdropping into our conversation and he turned to ask where were from.

His voice—like velvet. His smile, electrifying. His nose, perfect. High cheekbones, nice framed jaw. I couldn’t swear to his being from any particular tribe, but the man was pure Native American. I was so proud of myself that I kept control and spoke without giggling like a love struck schoolgirl.

He took his order and left.

My friend and I stared after him, watching him walk away. As soon as the door closed behind him we both collapsed into a laughing fit. For the first time in—HA! You thought I was going to reference my age?!?!?!?—all the years we’ve been in friends…no wait SECOND time…we were both extremely attracted to the same man.

I’m telling you that was a FINE example of God’s wondrous work. If I wasn’t a married woman (and possibly old enough to be his…aunt) I’d have made a play for the man.

On the way home we discussed cougars, wolves, the FINE, FINE man, and…other activities.

My libido hasn’t functioned properly in ages. I was beginning to think there was a malfunction. I can say with all certainty I am NOT dead after all. But I’m going to Hell for lusting after the man…

He was so hot he could easily have been a male model or an actor. One thing I can tell you for sure, he WILL be a hero in one of my next books! If I’d have had a camera I’d have been asking for permission to photog him. After all, I’d have to have something to look at for book inspiration…yeah, like I’d really NEED a pic to remember him!!!!

My dreams were filled with images of a hot man, a shape shifter actually, wolves, cougars, the woods and…yeah uh huh, NOPE not going to share any more of THAT with you!

Hmm think I’ll go back to bed…dream a little dream of him.

Ponderings

My life is still quite hectic. The hubby hasn't found employment yet and honestly, I'm not sure how much longer I can let him live. He isn't the most romantic, chatting, supportive man on the planet. Actually, the only time he wants to talk to me is when I'm writing. THEN he can come up with all sorts of things that he has to tell me or he's just going to explode.

I understand he's going through a difficult time, I truly do. A man who has gotten up every weekday morning for the last twenty-something years and had somewhere to go and something to do is suddenly drifting.

But I swear if I have to hear "It's supposed to be wetter than normal over the next six weeks," or some other factoid he picked up watching AG TV--or This Week in Agribusiness, I'll scream. And honestly no I don't care what Samuelson Says and I sure the hell don't want to look at another restored tractor.

I grew up on a cattle ranch, do you THINK I'm interested in watching a cattle auction on TV (Okay, I'll have to give him half a point for this as one of my favorite activities actually is going to the sale barn...)

I love the man and I'm trying to be supportive but he's beginning to make me crazy--okay, crazier he doesn't get all the credit!

My muse has gotten constipated with the fear that as soon as he starts flowing again, Dh will come popping in with another interruption. I haven't written in weeks. (I've done some major editing due to the release I have coming in January) but no writing...

I'd love to take off on an ATV adventure to one of the places DH was dreaming about last night. Wonder if he could try and replace that host...That would be the ideal job for DH and myself, traveling the country checking out all the ATV riding hotspots in America! I could definitely get into that!

Hang on, here comes DH now just busting out with news on Uncle Ted's latest Adventure! (All right, I admit that recipe for backstrap DOES sound delish...)

Guess I should go. No writing will be done today either. ACK!

Hugz and have a TERRIFIC rest of the week!
JJ

**AGTV, This Week in Agribusiness, are programs on AGTV channel. Brian Fisher is the host of Fisher's ATV television--a weekly program on Outdoor Channel. Uncle Ted is, of course Ted Nugent and he has a weekly program called Spirit of the Wild also seen weekly on the Outdoor Channel. I may enjoy poking fun but seriously for the hunters and outdoor enthusiasts these are really enjoyable programs!

More Horror Flicks!

I LOVE Halloween. Yes, I know you know that but this time I'm not talking about the DAY--I'm talking about the movie series. Michael Myers (as opposed to Mike Meyers from SNL--who ALSO ROCKS!)

I'm talking mask wearing--did you know that the mask was William Shatner's face painted white? (the only thing MORE frightening is actually having to SEE William Shatner!)--Jamie Lee Curtis chasing Halloween.

When the third one came out--Halloween III: Season of the witch--that's when I stopped seeing the movies. I've never been more disappointed in a film--at least in THE 80s Horror genre--EVER! I go to see what more havok the Monster Myers can wreck and HE'S NOT IN IT! WTF?!?!?! Hello! Halloween=MICHAEL MYERS!!!!

Have you seen this stinkola of a movie? No? You're LUCKY! Here's the trailer for it:


Yeah--I should've known it would be disappointing but I had high hopes!

Now on the flipside of the coin--this movie was pretty great:


This is not my all time FAVORITE of the 80's but it was sufficiently goretastic!

Which horror movie from the 80s would you recommend I add to my Halloween day-long horror bash? Inquiring minds want to know!

Gotta Jet! Work to do and all that.

HUGZ
JJ

Chainsaw Autopsy

In my latest work, Demon's Fall (coming January 2010), my demon hero has a demonic brother who loves Death Metal. Well writing a specific scene my editor asked me to name a band, maybe use some lyrics. After much thought this was discarded due to possible copyright issues. Then I thought wait a minute. I'm a writer, surely I can INVENT a band, right? The hard part was finding the names of current or previous musicians so I wasn't unintentionally copying them. Chainsaw Autopsy (suprisingly enough) is NOT a current or previous band.

This task was relatively easy. Now for the harder part...writing lyrics. Then the words just sort of formed in my head. I have an entire song lyrics written. I'll be sharing it at a later date--I plan on it being included in the book.

I had no trouble imagining the band screaming the words out, in growling, gravelling voices, ear bleeding chords, skull cracking percussions, oh yeah. Funny, I'm not really a death metal fan but my son is and I've heard enough from him to figure it out.

So now that Chainsaw Autopsy has been born, I wonder what else I can do with them. Donica had a few ideas if I can come up with more lyrics. Shame to abondon them after only one book, right?

Well better go and finish the edit read through. The weather has my head all torn up and I'm going to end up takikng a couple of massive pills and passing out before long.

hugz!
JJ

More 80s horror

So while I was going through the list of horror movies from the 80s one of them was being shown on TV. I turned it on and just couldnt work up the energy to sit through it. For some reason it just didn't intrigue me as it did one time. Actually I shut it off and turned on Sonata Arctica and vegged with a book--The Divine Comedy by Dante Allegeri.

Sometimes you just dont WANT to stop and smell the flowers!
Motel Hell:


See y'all again later!
Hugz
JJ

Remember Little House on the Prarie?

The beautiful oldest sister Mary Ingalls, played by Melissa Sue Anderson? She grew into such a beautiful and sweet young woman. Miss Mary, who never did anything contrary...

Have you ever seen the classic flick Happy Birthday to Me? No? I highly recommend it for entertainment value and to see sweet Melissa Sue in a whole new light:



I personally thought the film was fascinating. If you've seen it/will see it, let me know what you thought of it!

Hugz and see y'all again soon!
JJ

Horror of the 80s!

I thought I'd spend the rest of October chatting about horror movies from the 80s. (Donica Covey started it!)

Back in the 80s I was big on seeing horror movies, reading horror stories, getting the crap scared out of me at every turn. It was fun! Besides, what better excuse to cling to a sexy guy than being scared witless.

We usually went to the movies in a pack. Not that I didn't enjoy being alone with my boyfriend(s)but seeing horror flicks in a group was infinitely more enjoyable than seeing them as a duet. And, besides the Drive In was TONS of fun for a group.

What? Drive In? Oh...sorry, how to explain a Drive In. Okay, well its like a HUGE gravel parking lot with a GIGANTIC screens on each end. Every spot in the parking lot has a post with two large metal rectangular objects called speakers. These hooked to your window and played the sound that accompanied the movie (unless of course you were like some of us and faced one screen while listening to the other movie...)The Drive in is responsible for countless weekends of fun and excitment (and more than a slight increase of the population...LOL)

Anyway. I've spent more time at the drive in than any other theater. We would see some of the best and the worst flicks ever made there.

One of the most noteable movies was a particularly corney and obnoxious film that focused on Coulrophobia--the fear of clowns. Long before the Master, Stephen King released IT upon the world. This particular film was laughable, actually what would be called a black comedy, not frightening--unless you did suffer from this phobia.

The movie I refer to is Killer Klowns From Outerspace.


This dreadful, awful movie was GREAT for a time waster. I have to admit some scenes did make me jump in my seat. It's definitely great to watch with a friend who has an intense fear of clowns--or maybe that's just my opinion.

In any case, if you're looking for a classic film that is both a little scary and a whole lot corny, grab your favorite coulrophobic, pop some popcorn, snatch a pouch of cotton candy then sit back and wait forthe fun to begin!

Hugz! See y'all soon!
JJ